It's OK to not be OK.

Hey, guys! It's been a little while, and I'd love to know how January's been treating you in the comments below.

But I'm back (yay! all the virtual hugs and cheers!) and I'm feeling much better.

If you read my REINVENT YOURSELF post, you would have remembered that I set goals to blog more, think positively, and to take advantage of the places around me and include them in my photos. But my goals are intentions, aka. ways I could improve myself, not things I HAD to get done.

I didn't want to force myself into doing something that I didn't feel mentally ready to do.

A few days ago things got a little too much for me. I felt as if the longer I hung around my friends (even my closest ones) I had to hold this level of happiness and wear it every day, like makeup on my face. That the longer I wore it the heavier and more patchy it got- the more I just wanted to wash it off.

Like I had this "expectation" that I was supposed to be this super positive and happy girl all the time.

The other day was kind of like looking in the mirror for the first time in a while. Looking at myself, I realized that I felt suppressed by what I was carrying around on me day in and day out.

But I think what upset me the most was that I'm not normally like this.

That I'm not the one to cry, even when I did.

The tears just rolled out of me like the cap had popped off a bottle, that the bottle was my mind bubbled up with thoughts.

I was firstly told by my mum that it's OK to be OK. Following that, I received a text that told me, I did good. That I am a work in progress, and that I could win this tournament and be happy... Signed, my biggest fan, Her.

I was reassured that even if something had not gone how I planned, there would always another path and that I had to stop comparing myself to other people.

And that's OK. It's okay to have a little break down in front of your mum and your best friend because they're there to listen to you. Nobody should feel like they have to wear a smile on their face when that smile doesn't want to be shown.

Although it's been much longer than I originally planned, but I just want to let you know posts will still be going up, just at my own pace.

And I also hope you guys are still here for me, even if I decide to not post on a regular basis!

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